A Bitter Truth

A foolish imp manipulates for control
He desperately yearns to be king of the castle
A spiteful witch sits alone in her cavern
Secretly contemplating her vengeful plans
Both release a corrosive venom
Straight from the rotting marrow deep within their bones
But tragically they are unable to see
The deadly effects of their emotional toxin
Or comprehend the reasons why
They spread this bitter poison to begin with
Because their minds have been veiled
To the origins of their own destructive ways

Of course I feel justified in despising them
And obviously I should be enraged
With all the terrible suffering I’ve had to endure
Yet every time I try to tell someone
just how awful they are
The only suggestion I get back is “Let it go”
And I think in my heart … here we go again
I’ve heard this cliché … this boring old note
A thousand times
And I don’t know if I can bring myself to listen
To their galling advice any longer
I mean, all I really wanted in the first place
Was for someone to agree
With how horribly I’ve been treated
But please don’t get me wrong
I know they mean well
And I see the truth and value in their words
But the fact is I am simply not ready to change
Do you realize how difficult it is
To just let these things go
When every fibre in your being
Is screaming for revenge?

Now if I’m ever to become
That kind and forgiving person I envision
I must start by looking
At the attitudes I have towards others
Especially those who hurt me
For instance … have I ever given a second thought
To the delicate and complex nature of their human condition
Or even once … considered the idea
That they might actually live with pain and brokenness in their hearts
Worse … have I ignored the fact that they mirror the Divine
And are more valuable than I can possibly imagine
With an incredible potential for good?

I must confess that I have scarcely made the effort
To understand their plights
Nor rarely extended my hand in compassion
I have simply not embraced that higher calling
To walk in the ways of love
Instead … I have allowed the scorn in my heart
To rage out of control
And the resentments in my life
To have mastery over everything
Because you see … my mind has also been veiled
to the origins of my own destructive ways
And perhaps the reason why
I am now so obsessed with these latest villains
Is because I once again need someone to blame
For the pain and brokenness in my heart
Instead of looking at the true source of my anguish:
How I feel about myself

Gord Holmstrom has been living at Flatlanders Inn since 2013.

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